Knowing yourself is crucial to understanding your patterns of behaviors, choices, and outcomes. That's it. You have to get to know your core self with both your "good" and "bad" parts.
Now this is the point where some of you say, "I've been in this body, living these experiences my whole life. I think I know myself." At least, that's what I would have said without further investigation. Had I been asked to dig deeper with questions such as: Why do you lay awake at night ruminating over something stupid you said to embarrass yourself earlier? Why the hell did you even say that in the first place? Why does your weight/diet fluctuate so much? Why are you so gassy? I would have been offended and feeling exposed! I certainly would not have been able to give a straight forward answer to any of those questions.
So how did I reach the point in my life where I began to understand the fundamental aspects of my life choices? I sat with myself and started to question everything I had been taught about myself and the world around me. I didn't look for a particular answer. I simply observed myself. How did certain tasks and interactions make me feel both physically and mentally?
1. I first recognized that I did not feel good, and made the decision to commit to routines that made me feel satisfied with myself.
2. I got into therapy, when I struggled to understand complex emotions and behaviors.
3. I got off of toxic social media platforms and started searching for and filling my algorithm and subscriptions with posts that made me laugh, feel motivated, how-to's for developing interests, creative pursuits, and cute animals.
4. I took the time to make a written list of my top 5 core values, which I use to this day to help me make difficult decisions.
5. I attempted (still working on it) to eliminate negative self-talk, and started affirming myself out loud EVERY DAY.
6. I started spending quiet time with my thoughts--usually in the shower or while eating.
7. I developed a routine, and committed to it for at least 40 days before trying something new.
8. I joined interest groups focused on creative and collective healing to meet other people with similar goals and interests.
9. I started complimenting friends, family, and people I didn't know regularly.
This is not an exhaustive list, and it has taken me years to develop healthy routines that work for me. I encourage you to start by truly committing to ONE healthy thing that makes you feel good. Start small and do something that feels easy, then build from there. My hope is that my list helps you see that you really can be happier if you choose to commit to one idea or exercise. You have ultimate control over your actions and how you interact with the world.
If you feel like you've tried everything and still can't find peace, maintain a healthy habit, or still struggle to enjoy your relationships, maybe a good coaching program can help.
Much peace to you.
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